The Final Rose of : Relationship Building
Every week millions of women across the world sit down to watch people fall in love in a less than conventional manner. That would be on "The Bachelor." So, why is it so easy to fall in love on this show but the relationships seldom last?
The Social Penetration Theory is just one way to map a relationship and its growth. It includes five different parts - orientation, exploration affective exchange, affective exchange, stable exchange, and depenetration. Orientation involves small talk and simple conversations. On the first night of the show, this is all very arranged. As these women are selected on who may be a potential match with similarities to the hunky bachelor, these conversations are generally easy. Each woman gets her chance to talk and begin these simple conversations.
Going deeper into the next stage, exploratory affective exchange, is where we reveal things about ourselves, and meeting friends. This is done a little differently in the show, because this stage comes quickly, but normally does not include meeting friends. Instead, those who reveal things about themselves sooner in the show, are the ones who stick around. Those who do share are the ones who eventually get to bring The Bachelor home to meet family and friends.
Next, affective exchange, is where first kisses, sexual encounters, and sharing personal private matters occur. Once again this goes back to how those who do have these kisses, and disclosures are the ones who stay on the show, those who do not go home. Number four is stable exchange, this is where marriage comes up, children, and the "I love you."
Going deeper into the next stage, exploratory affective exchange, is where we reveal things about ourselves, and meeting friends. This is done a little differently in the show, because this stage comes quickly, but normally does not include meeting friends. Instead, those who reveal things about themselves sooner in the show, are the ones who stick around. Those who do share are the ones who eventually get to bring The Bachelor home to meet family and friends.
Next, affective exchange, is where first kisses, sexual encounters, and sharing personal private matters occur. Once again this goes back to how those who do have these kisses, and disclosures are the ones who stay on the show, those who do not go home. Number four is stable exchange, this is where marriage comes up, children, and the "I love you."
Stage five brings with it the reasons these relationships do not last, depenetration. One of the big issues that comes with this show is proximity and distance. Once these two people are in love, and engaged they instantly have to move home and back to their lives before their love, and with it they are not allowed to be together. This can include not only physical distance but "psychological distance and autonomy" (16). Either way this does not have a positive affect on relationships. This can also affect the "social network of the relationship" (17). The world they lived in now has a new configuration that will require adjustment.
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With this adjustment, some relationships from the show can last, but any avid viewer of the show can tell you most do not.
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